play with us squidward
nothing pisses me off more than the fact that 90% of women’s jeans have non-functioning pockets but baby clothes have proper pockets? what are babies carrying around that i’m not? baby wallets? fuck off
protect elderly substitute teachers at all costs
once I had an 80 year old sub and he rapped about science.
But they ain’t tryin to hear you doe
but when did i start saying ‘yo’ unironically
on my grave, it will read “regretting all the ships that never sailed” and some people will think it’s poetic, but others will know
"i don’t need to write that down, i’ll rememb—"
i love sleeping to avoid problems
FRIENDS WHO LIVE IN CALI LIKE “IM FREEZING ITS SO COLD IM WEARING 3 COATS A SCARF IM WRAPPED IN A BLANKET N DRINKING COCOA” AND IM LIKE “HOW COLD IT IS????” THINKING ITS BELOW ZERO AND THEYRE LIKE “55 DEGREES” LIKE BRUH UR WEAK
if a girl wants to watch a sport because she thinks a player is hot then let her, it’s not like guys watch the VS fashion show because they want to buy new bras.
it’s kind of weird knowing that when you sleep, you’re just looking at your eyelids but somewhere in your brain, you are able to produce dreams as if you’re still awake.
He’s just mad because he can’t acquire all the apple juice that I’m acquiring. (x)